Batsy, Batsy, Batsy (One Shot)
by Anime ga kill
Summary: After Harley and all her criminal friends are rescued from Belle Reve, she throws a party to celebrate. With very special entertainment. :)


**DISCLAIMER-I do not own DC or Suicide Squad (though i wish i did because i would be getting hella money rn)**

 **(In this story El Diablo isn't dead :,). Also if u didnt read the story summary, all of the Suicide Squad was rescued from Belle Reves by Mistah J ;) )**

* * *

Harley woke up to an empty bed. The morning light shown through the boarded up windows, which blinded her for a second. She turned to the side of the bed to see a note left on the empty space The Joker was supposed to be filling in.

 _Had some business to attend to. Will be back tonight X_X - Mr. J  
_

 _Great_ , Harley thought to herself. _Just when he rescues me, he's off to do some work_. She sat up from the bed and stretched, glad she was not in a cold and very exposed cage anymore. She was in her old pajamas, in her old bedroom. It felt nice. She wandered around the penthouse looking for things to do. She tidied up a little, re-dyed the tips of her hair, did her makeup, and changed into decent clothes. By the time she was done it was only 1 o'clock. She sank into a chair at the bar, defeated.

"Shit!" She yelled to herself. "What am I gonna do all day, huh?" She asked the teddy bear next to her, receiving no answer back. She turned to look out the window and saw a red balloon flying up towards the light blue and cloudless sky.

 _Some kid must've lost it. Poor him_ , she thought. Then, like the voices in her head, an idea popped up.

"Ohh, I should throw a party!" She exclaimed excitedly, clapping her hands.. She picked up her phone and starting texting in the Suicide Squad group chat. Deadshot, Boomerang, Killer Croc, and El Diablo were all in it.

 **Harley:** **Hey puddin's! I'm throwin a party tonite at this address so come if u dare ;D**

She waited a few seconds, then _ding_.

 **Deadshot: Sorry, doll face. I'm spending the day with my daughter. Maybe set a rain check?**

Harley pouted in disappointment.

 **Boomerang: Yeah, darlin'. Too busy tryin' to win over this Katana chick ;)**

 **Killer Croc: OBALF EQAIFH GKAN ADG JYG**

 **El Diablo: I think what Croc is tryin' to say is...he can't come either. Probably gonna jack off to some BET videos...**

 **Killer Croc: BFJLNA! IWHBF!**

Harley laughed sadly. She almost gave up, until another- _better_ -idea popped up in her head.

 **Harley: What if I say Batman's gonna be there? Tied up and vulnerable :) Then will you guys come?**

 **Deadshot: ...I hate to say this but...my daughter can wait.**

 **Boomerang: Hell yeah, I'm in!**

 **El Diablo: Guess I'll come.**

 **Killer Croc: IOHABF!**

 **El Diablo: He said yes.**

Harley giggled in delight.

 **Harley: I knew it :D Party starts at 8:00. Don't be late!**

Harley spent half of the day stealing party supplies and setting up the apartment all nice, she totally forgot about Batman. She checked her phone after she was done setting up. It read 6:50.

"Oh, shit, Batsy!" She ran out the apartment and tried to scramble up a way to capture Batman. While she was walking down the street, she recognized one of Mr. J's henchmen. She couldn't recall his name.

"Oh, um, do you mind helping me get Batsy?" She smiled softly and innocently.

"What?" He said in a very deep tone.

"I need to capture the Batman, silly. And don't tell Mistah J, it's a surprise." She nudged the tall and muscular man. He just shrugged and then looked up.

"Ain't that him?" He asked as Harley looked up too. Sure enough, a black figure was soaring through the sky.

"Follow him!" Harley yelled and began running in the direction he was flying. She ran two blocks until Batman stopped at an old looking apartment. He landed at the front door wear a girl with short brown hair was standing. She ran into his arms and they kissed for a brief moment and then went inside.

Harley gasped dramatically. "Oh, little Batsy is growin' up! He's got his own little girlfriend." She smiled deviously and opened her palm to The Joker's henchman. "Gun," she demanded and, without hesitation, the man gave it to her. Harley stealthily crept over to the building and climbed a window until she reached the one she was looking for. Inside, the brown haired girl was setting up some plates. She turned her back to look in the fridge and Harley made her move.

She swung violently, yet swiftly, and kicked in the glass with her foot. Glass shards flew everywhere and Harley made her way inside. The girl was crouched over in a protective stance. Harley grabbed her roughly by the arm and positioned the gun to her temple. Batman came out from a room, still in uniform, alert.

"Now, Batsy, either you be my prisoner for a night or your girlfriend gets it." To prove her point, Harley shook the girl who whimpered in fear. Batman held up his hands.

"Okay. Take me, don't hurt her," he said in that familiar rough voice. Harley smiled brightly. This was gonna be fun.

* * *

The penthouse was lit with colored lights, balloons, drinks, pumping music and villains. Harley had successfully gotten Batman to cooperate and had him tied up on a pole. Deadshot was taking his beating on him.

"Oh, imma kill this son of a-" Deadshot growled as he pulled out his gun.

"Whoa, Shot! No killin' okay?" Harley wanted Batman to be in nearly perfect shape for when Mr. J got here. But she couldn't stop from Deadshot beating the mess out of the hero.

Harley walked over to her friends. Croc handed her a margarita, which she took cheerfully.

"Hey, Harley," El Diablo spoke. "Thanks for inviting us."

"Oh, you guys are my only friends! Of course," she chirped while taking a sip of her drink. She took a good look at her surroundings. Fellow villains that did business with The Joker were there, along with some of her stripper friends. They were all dancing and having a good time.

 _This is what I like to see,_ she thought. _Not my friends locked up in cages with blank faces. All I wanted to do was live a little, and I got thrown in prison. Pity._ She began walking over to some of her girlfriends and dancing to the pulsing music with them. The door opened suddenly with a **BANG** and everyone stopped. Even the music. The notorious King Clown walked into the room with two henchmen behind him. He walked slowly inside, with his cane in front of him. He took a good look around until his eyes landed on the one and only... _Batman_.

Harley broke the silence by running over to The Joker and wrapping her skinny arms around him.

"Puddin' you're home! Look what I got for you!" She squealed in delight. The Joker escaped from her arms and began stalking towards the Batman. They were face to face, breathing the same air, and staring into each other souls. Suddenly, Batman broke free from his chains and punched The Joker in the face. His henchmen began running towards him but the Joker stopped them with a pale and tattooed hand. The Joker cackled manically as he held his bruised cheek. Batman just shook his head and walked out of the front door. It was like time was frozen in place. Nobody moved. Nobody breathed.

 **"...GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!"** The Joker yelled harshly. Everyone was running out in chaos including Boomerang (who had stolen one of Harley's sttuffed unicorns), El Diablo (who was finishing off a bottle of Fireball) and Killer Croc (who had taken a few alcoholic beverages with him).

As Deadshot left he whispered, "Text me." and Harley nodded. As the door shut, Harley realized it was only her and The Joker, whose back showed he was breathing heavily.

"Puddin'?" She whimpered as she tried to put a hand on his shoulder.

He slapped it off and turn around all in one quick motion.

"What were you thinking Harley?" He chided. He cupped his hand on her pale face.

"I was just wantin' to impress you," she stammered nervously.

"Impress me?" He retorted and removed his hands.

"Y-yeah. 'Cause you broke me outta prison an' all." She tried to smile but failed.

"Oh, Harley, Harley, Harley." He walked up to her as she backed up into the couch. "You've been a bad girl." He pointed a finger in her face and Harley realized it was just one of Mr. J's way of foreplay.

"I have?" She asked innocently as he nodded his head and hummed. "Whatcha gonna do about it?" She smiled deviously.

He grinned widely, showing off his silver teeth. "Let's have some fun, shall we?"


End file.
